22.10.2011

Big o

It happened to me too. That kind of dream that wakes you up in tears. That feeling that you miss somebody so much that it hurts. Dreams, dreams, dreams... How come instead of helping me fly, you bury me?
Weird things happened to me lately. I went on, I went back off, I laughed, I cried, I loved, I hated.

It feels like a mid-life crisis, but I'm too young for that.

I don't know which way should I go. I don't know how to face the tests that appear every 5 seconds. I don't know how to smile. I don't know...

When will the big comeback be?

17.10.2011

Now....

Now I am sitting on THE chair, helping not to cry of happiness. THE pink is smiling, THE red is protecting me and I am fully confident that it will end up ok, whenever it will end.
Long way ahead. Breathe in, breathe in..and keep it all in. When everything will come out, I will be released of everything.
Breathe in

14.10.2011

Hours

xxx

How about you go fuck yourself and
Feel yourself with the luck I've never had?
How about me moving on and you
Going on listening to that same old song...?


I wish I was better but I can't take my hands off
A dream or a fairytale... who would've know that
A dream is a dream and stays a dream forever...
I wish I was me... Now most of me more than ever

06.10.2011

Non-culori

Mi-ai oferit o parte din rosul tau
Infierbatandu-ma mai tare ca un soare
Am pus albastrul meu sa te iubeasca
Iar acum...albastrul meu moare
Inchid ochii si ma intreb cum pot
Sa cer macar putin roz inapoi
...Sau am pierdut rosul tau de tot?
Mai sunt sanse sa coloram in doi?

Verdele ne-a amuzat o vreme
Un alt rosu ne-a adapostit
Galbenul a venit prea devreme
Si albastrul meu e spalacit
Ma intreb iar...unde imi e negrul?
Sa-mi mai reglez putin albastrul iubit...
Dar momentan ramane doar blestemul
Ce imi vaneaza culoarea la nesfarsit.

Nu mai vreau o rochie alb-galbuie
Nu mai vreau o strada gri inchis
Nu mai pot sa iau rosul - caci nu e
Nici o cale sa ma trezesc din acest vis.
Strang din alb...scrasneste si ma doare
Albastrul moare incet zi dupa zi
Cum o sa ies din paleta asta care
S-a amestecat in fundul inimii?

Priveste griul. Se face tot mai negru
Si rosul tau e tot mai visiniu
Ce culoare ma poate pune pe picioare?
Maro? Oranj?...Sau poate...argintiu?
Intr-un final un rau le va spala pe toate
Si paleta se va curata
Pana atunci, inca sper ca...poate...
Rosul tau va fi iar culoarea mea.

05.10.2011

S.O.S. (same old smoke)

I've been dreaming too much lately.

I've been dreaming too much that I can find or get back something that I lost. But the thing is... Once you lost something and somebody else found it before you did, it's not yours anymore.
Heartbroken? Yep.
Give any fuck? Nop.

I stopped fighting now. But it seems like I did it a million years ago. My life was for rent, I didn't learn to buy in time, so it's no surprise that I have nothing left.

Now I struggle to stay alive. And I cannot wait for that moment when I will start rising again. Beware of that.

I'm a good actress... So... it's ok.

All my dreams went up in smoke, and I have no more power to think of new ones, but it doesn't matter. Everything is ok when it ends. I'm over and done. So I'm ok. I got lost on the way, but I'm a supergirl. And supergirls just fly.

I never thought I could be high on pain. But I am.