2.0

I cannot recognize this person anymore.

She used to be the seed of an apple full of life. She used to laugh at her problems. She used to be strong when life was fucked up. She was a bomb of energy, singing songs about loving and being loved. She never cried - the tears were an unknown concept to her.

Now she's dead. She died today.

She's me.

Letter to you.

21.08.2011.

on the ferry that was slowly sailing by the island of Rhodes

My dearest friends,

There's nothing but a window that separates us. It should've been easier for us, but the goodbyes are always hard to handle. I'm doing my best not to think of this as a farewell, but rather as some time off, in order to meet again. The main request I have for you is to stay strong. This means you'll have to be as united as possible... don't get upset for every piece of shit. Enjoy the time you have left to be together.

I loved spending some little time with you, each and every second of it. I already feel the loneliness filling up the piece of my heart that belongs to all of you, but I'm doing my best to take it away and put your love instead. Love each other and don't forget to show this. It's easy.

I love you all and I hope we'll see again soon. "Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead." This time, it will last.

With a broken heart,

Cristina.

Marea

*post fara diacritice, din motive mai mult sau mai putin lesne de inteles

Spuneai ca spui lucrurilor pe nume. Acum mi-ai intors spatele, brusc, fara nici un preaviz.

Spun apei ca e sarata, si-mi face semn sa beau. Beau sangele atator fiinte sacrificate in abisul albastru. Te doresc si este imposibil sa te am. Urli prin semne si auzi prin atingeri suave de albastru.

Ieri totul era albastru in jurul meu. Astazi m-am intors la negru.

O fi depresie. O fi prostie. O fi dorul ce il port si care ma seaca pe zi ce trece mai tare, si mai tare...

Am cerut marii ajutor si mi-a zis ca o sa mi-l ofere doar daca ii ofer sacrificiul suprem. Banuiesc ca merita sa ma sacrific ca sa fii tu fericit...